3.9 KiB
date, created, category
| date | created | category | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2025-12-07 | 2025-12-07 |
|
today's activity
todays to-dos
- MIT: It's Sunday, there no MIT, other than go upstairs and make the most of no kids
- swimming at dimensions (Christmas theme)
to-don't-do
scratch pad
future to-dos
daily-reflection
three ways I made progress today
what happened today
on grandad's ring, death, and an afterlife
Robert Mark Hodgetts gave me Albert Hodgetts's Grandad's Gold Ring today. He said that he wouldn't wear it, but he knew that I would, so I might as well have it. I was surprised, even so, I'd would've thought it would hold sentimental value for him. Earlier this year he also give me his old demin jacket from when he was a teenager, it doesn't fit me, that surprised me too. He was quite solum after giving it to me. I get the impression that he doesn't want anything that reminds him of Grandad,. Is it all him not wanting to face his own mortality? I'm probably reading too much into it. But since grandad died, dad has lost a lot of weight and he seems to be thinking more about inheritance, old age, etc. It's hard losing family, I've no idea what it's like to lose a parent yet, but I can only imagine what is must feel like to experience the grief and the realisation that your next in line... that event you've been putting out of your mind your entire life because it's so far off into the future, is now tangibly close.
I think this is a normal thing to do, ignore your mortality. But I'm not really all that normal, my death is something that's been on my mind since I was a little boy. Back then I remember confiding in my Margret Dianne Hodgetts about it, and she brushed it off, saying that's not something to worry about. I remember my dad response to talking about death was a short and almost angry "when it's your time, it's your time". But that never stopped my mind bringing it up, again and again. Where am I now, I hope that I get to a ripe old age in good-ish health. And when I'm finally on my deathbed, I want to look back on it all, happy that I've lived a good life. I've done what I wanted to do, I made the best (within reason) of what I had. I would feel that my experience of this life would be complete then, I hadn't wasted it. Although, just the luck to experience is enough in it's self, but best not squander the chance I've been given hey.
Do I believe in anything after this life, I don't know, it's unlikely, there's nothing to suggest that there is. I thin it's best to concentrate on making the best of this experience, because I think to experience anything at all is better than absolute nothing. Although I would be great to meet everyone again in an afterlife, family, friends, pets. But I'm left with the evidence that my experience in life itself is it. I've hear science communicators say that in physics there's nothing that forces time to run concurrently, as in how we experience it, the passing of time, where the past has gone, and the future is unknowable. Time is like the 3 dimensions, it all there. Which leads me to believe that there's no free will, it's all been 'decided' already, but that also means that all the people, the experiences, everything that happened when I was a kid, is all still there. It never goes anywhere. I would love to go back and experience parts of the past, to feel being a kid again, watching Noel's house party on a Saturday night, back in the fold. And I bet I'll look back on this time now, when Jess and Bella have left home, and yearn to return to this fold too.
If all we have is what we make in this life, it's best to make it a happy experience, so I may one day enjoy it over and over again.
Version history:
- 2025-12-07T00:00: Note created
- 2025-12-09T00:34: Added reflection "on grandad's ring, death, and an afterlife"