1.7 KiB
created, category, topic, title, platform, channel, url, rating, tags
| created | category | topic | title | platform | channel | url | rating | tags | ||
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| 2025-12-07T20:54 |
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Master the art of conversation (using psychology) | YouTube | Dr Thomas Smithyman |
Use safe small talk initially to calm down. That's it's point, to ease people. But don't spend too long here, else it becomes a state, non stimulating, conversation
Move quickly into deeper conversation, sparkling an emotional response, ask open ended questions like "how did you come to do x". This focuses not on what they did, but the WHY of why they wanted to do it.
Talk like a friend, be looser, don't treat them like s stranger.
Good conversations move around, they don't stay on one topic too long. Keep the topics moving around. Look for topics that trigger emotion (they'll become more animated), dog deeper.
That stranger is someone friend, and in some way they are that friends unique weirdo. Find what makes them that unique weirdo.
Story telling. Friends tell each other their stories. Do this with strangers, get them to tell their stories. And tell your. The conversation should tell you/them on a journey.
Authentic engaged listening
- back channelling - yeah, mmhm, etc.
- non-verbal clues - nodding, body language
- ask follow-up questions
- engage with stories like a child - imagine the story, and live it, and show it
Creating phycology safety
- communicate acceptance and encouragement
- when communicate that you won't judge or criticise, people will open up a reduce their social anxiety
Look for areas of shared reality
- look for an overlap in who you are, what you've been through, and how you see things
- this is one of the strongest drivers of deep connection