vault backup: 2026-03-18 22:39:14

.obsidian/workspace.json

@@ -13,12 +13,12 @@
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@@ -63,7 +63,8 @@
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@@ -136,7 +137,7 @@
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@@ -146,7 +147,7 @@
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@@ -238,12 +239,12 @@
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@@ -270,19 +271,25 @@
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+    "Daily Notes/2026-03-18.md",
+    "_Inbox/2026-03-18 0701 openclaw agent context, adhd, medicine, and where next.md",
+    "_Inbox/2026-03-15 22 Bagnall Heights Lease.md",
+    "Attachments/0991150002 Official Copy Lease 28.11.2006 - SF520794.pdf.pdf",
+    "Categories/PARA.md",
+    "Daily Notes/2026-03-15.md",
+    "_Inbox/2026-03-11 0527 experiments with lisdexamfetamine.md",
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@@ -295,10 +302,6 @@
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     "Notes/2026-01-04 1713 Sort out schedule for heating in home assistant.md",
     "Notes/2026-01-06 2057 Home Assistant Win RPC Shutdown.md",
-    "Notes/2025-12-29 1045 TAQ Assessment 1.md",
-    "Notes/Experiments with Methylphenidate.md",
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Daily Notes/2026-03-15.md

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+---
+date:  2026-03-15
+created:  2026-03-15T20:28:13
+category:
+  - "[[Daily Notes]]"
+---
+# Sunday 15th March 2026
+[[Home]] | [[PARA|PARA Board]] | [[2026-03-14|< Back]] | [[2026-03-16|Forward >]]
+## today's activity
+![[Daily note today.base]]
+
+## in focus
+![[PARA.base]]
+

Daily Notes/2026-03-18.md

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+---
+date:  2026-03-18
+created:  2026-03-18T07:01:50
+category:
+  - "[[Daily Notes]]"
+---
+# Wednesday 18th March 2026
+[[Home]] | [[PARA|PARA Board]] | [[2026-03-17|< Back]] | [[2026-03-19|Forward >]]
+## today's activity
+![[Daily note today.base]]
+
+## in focus
+![[PARA.base]]
+

_Inbox/2026-03-12 1800 Post diagnostic workshop s01.md

@@ -6,7 +6,6 @@ type:
 title: Post diagnostic workshop s01
 created: 2026-03-12T18:05:00
 date: 2026-03-12
-tags:
 scheduled: 2026-03-12T18:00:00
 org:
   - "[[NSCHT Adult ADHD Service]]"
@@ -14,6 +13,9 @@ location:
   - "[[Online]]"
 people:
 topics:
+tags:
+  - project
 ---
+need to sort this, and transpose into mark down
 
 ![[Recording 20260312192246.m4a]]

_Inbox/2026-03-15 22 Bagnall Heights Lease.md

@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+---
+created: 2026-03-15T20:32:09
+up:
+  - "[[Library]]"
+title: 22 Bagnall Heights Lease
+source:
+author:
+  - "[[HM Land Registry]]"
+published: 2006-11-28
+topics:
+---
+[[0991150002 Official Copy Lease 28.11.2006 - SF520794.pdf.pdf]]
+

_Inbox/2026-03-18 0701 openclaw agent context, adhd, medicine, and where next.md

@@ -0,0 +1,92 @@
+---
+category:
+  - "[[Journal]]"
+type:
+  - "[[Log]]"
+  - "[[Reflection]]"
+topic:
+  - "[[OpenClaw]]"
+  - "[[Access to HE Diploma (Medicine)]]"
+  - "[[me ADHD]]"
+title: openclaw agent context, adhd, medicine, where next
+created: 2026-03-18T07:01:53
+date: 2026-03-18
+tags:
+---
+this is a message tread between myself and blink (to give him some context). i thought it also needs saving here too.
+
+
+> [!NOTE] Me
+> a while ago, shortly after my adhd diagnosis (jan 2025), i wanted a change in career. The diagnosis had left me with a sense of mourning for what could have been, had i been diagnosed while i was at school. Getting a diagnosis at the age of 44, suddenly a lot in my life made sense, but also things could have been very different had i'd known how to handle myself much earlier. 
+> 
+> i heard the description of someone with adhd has an interest based nervous system (as oppose to a neurotypicals importance based nervous system). This was a key bit of learning for me at 44, all the things that i've excelled at have all been things that i'm interested in, if i'm not interested, it doesn't matter how important it is, my brain won't engage with it. I'd been fighting this truth my whole life without realising it, thinking i just needed to try harder at that important thing "everyone else can do it, there's no reason why i can't, i just need to learn/try harder" is what i'd tell myself. But now i know why i can't engage with 'boring' things, it's not that it's impossible for me, it's that that boring and/or tedious task will require much more effort more me to stay focused on that it would for a neurotypical. 
+> 
+> So where does this leave me, well i need acknowledge how I'm different to most and play to my strengths. I looked at my job, as an engineer i loved the problem solving side of it, but the admin (report writing) was my  nemesis, it also lacked something, i didn't care, it was only the problem solving that engaged me. So i decided I wanted to become a doctor, the role has a lot of features that play to my strengths, i need a high level of intellectual engagement, i love learning, problem solving, and the end product is helping people, being a doctor there's an actual person  that you are hopefully making their lived experience better... is there anything more motivating than that, i don't think so.
+> 
+> So that was my plan, i'm going to get into medical school and become a doctor. I needed to do an 'access to HE diploma', which i'm currently working on (which you may have seen referenced in your memory files). Getting into medical school is tough, you have to demonstrate that you are suitable for the role of a doctor, quite rightly so. Part of demonstrating that, it need to show that i have knowledge of what the role of a doctor means. Hence, the volunteering is part of demonstrating that.
+> 
+> However, i don't know now if pursuing that career will be feasible and this stage in my life there are too many obstacles to get past.
+> 1. i've done a degree before, so i can't access a student loan during studies, i also have to cover the tuition fee each year (~£10k).
+> 2. the course is 5 years, not only do i need to financially support myself and my family during that time, i also need to dedicate more than 40+ hours a week to studies (and more during the placement focused years 3-5).
+> 3. I have young children (ages 7 and 9), not only would studying medicine take a lot of my time away from them at these formative years, it would also mean that, as a family, we would also have a huge financial strain as my income would be greatly reduced.
+> 4. my local medical school is Keele university, keele accept  the distance learning diploma that i'm doing. However, we maybe moving to Hornsea (Yorkshire) and York-Hull university do not accept distance learning diplomas.
+> 5. my aim is to get to consultant level, the formative training before that and that role is my happy place. The intellectual engagement is what i need to keep my adhd happy and stay engaged. But getting there is a long road. That road i about 10-12 years long, of learning but a lot of pure admin really. There is an initial learning curve, but medical school and foundation training, is mainly admin. Proving yourself though admin.
+> 
+> So yeah, now I'm not so sure this is the right path. I could do it, but there are some huge sacrifices for myself and my family, and where i want to be is at least 10-12 years away. If i'd had my diagnosis earlier i would've figured all this out much earlier and i probably would've done medical school in my 30s, that would've been perfect. But at 44, not only are the costs too high, but the pay off is too far away (and getting further if we move to hornsea).
+> 
+> So, where am i now.... I don't think I'm going ahead with medical school, it's not going to work. I do want to pursue a career change, but it still need to figure that bit out. 
+> 
+> Diploma, i want to finish this, as i'm genuinely interested in the subject (i love learning curves!). I also may need to do another qualification when i figure out what i'm going to do for a career--it won't look good on any future application if i don't complete it. 
+> 
+> lol, thought i needed to give you some context and it turned in to a huge message.
+
+
+> [!NOTE] Blink
+> This is a lot to process, and it's clear this has been weighing on you. Let me capture this properly so we can work through it together.
+ This is heavy, and I can hear how much this means to you. The grief of "what could have been" is real, and the clarity of understanding your nervous system is powerful.
+>
+You're right that this isn't just about "trying harder." It's about how your brain works. The fact that you've excelled at things you care about while struggling with things you don't is a pattern, not a failure.
+>
+The obstacles you've listed are real and significant. A 5-year commitment with no income, young kids, and a potential move that could eliminate your local option — that's not just "challenging," it's life-altering.
+>
+I'm not going to tell you to "go for it" or "let it go." I want to understand what you need right now:
+>
+>1. Do you want to explore alternatives that still use your strengths (problem-solving, intellectual engagement, helping people) but don't require a full medical career?
+>2. Do you need to process the grief of potentially letting this dream go?
+>3. Do you want to dig into the logistics — can any of these obstacles be mitigated, or are they deal-breakers?
+>4. Is there a middle path — something that gets you closer to the parts of medicine you love without the full commitment?
+>
+What feels most urgent for you right now?
+>
+You're processing a lot in one message. The "what if" is heavy, but the clarity you're gaining is real.
+>
+Finishing the diploma makes sense — you're genuinely interested, and it's a credential that could matter later. The career change is still the question mark.
+>
+What's the next piece you need? Do you want to brainstorm alternative paths that use your strengths (problem-solving, intellectual engagement, helping people) but don't require a 10-12-year commitment? Or do you need to sit with this for a bit and come back to it?
+
+
+> [!NOTE] Me
+> the answer will come in time, it's not something that can be answered in on e session. 
+>
+The other big part to this is the potential move to hornsea. My wife's mum and sister live there, it's a really nice sea side town, but there's not much there in the way of jobs. Hull is the closest city ~45 minutes travel. Moving there would mean leaving my parents here (who live 10 min walk away), but my wife is very close to her family, she spends all her free time in Hornsea. She (and my eldest daughter) want the move, and i know how much it would mean to her to be closer to her family.
+>
+But, this would also mean that my choice of career is drastically narrowed. Being able to work from home (hybrid) would probably be a requirement, else i'd be spending too much time travelling to work and missing my children growing up. So i'm thinking along the line of IT. I'm good with computers, spend most of my free time playing with them, self taught myself to code (badly i would add), but i think this is my best route to something, or at least ins the best lead i have for now. Systems architect has come up in my research a few times
+>
+something to think on, and bear in mind for something to shape my actions going forward
+
+
+
+> [!NOTE] blink
+> Got it. The move to Hornsea is a major factor — it's not just about the job market, it's about family, relationships, and lifestyle. The fact that your wife and eldest daughter want it, and you'd be leaving your parents who live 10 minutes away, that's a lot to weigh.
+>
+IT/Systems Architect as a direction makes sense for what you've described:
+>
+• You're comfortable with computers
+• You enjoy learning (the learning curve)
+• You like problem-solving
+• It can be done remotely/hybrid
+• It doesn't require a 10-12-year commitment
+>
+I've captured this in the file. When you're ready to explore it further, I can help you research what that path actually looks like, what skills you'd need, and what the reality is. But yeah, this is something to sit with and let shape your thinking over time.
+>
+No need to rush.